I love networking. I’m all about it. I want to meet people with good energy, and explore ways in which we can help each other, and maybe even work together. I’m finding that now, more than ever, I don’t want to go it alone. I realize, though, that networking is not everyone’s bag. For some, it is right up there with public speaking and root canal. I am not saying that it always comes easily – sometimes, for me, first it means visualizing how I want the interraction to go, and remembering the most positive experiences I have in the past in terms of networking — times when I met that person who knew the person who knew the person to get me that speaking gig, or when I was able to help someone move forward on a plan, or help connect them to someone that had that valuable piece of information they were looking for. And all the time, being authentic, not cheesy or car-salesman-y!
Networking requires a new paradigm. A new paradigm helps to create a different attitude and perception. If you’ve found yourself asking some of these questions…
How can I push my agenda?
How can I get or keep all the attention on myself?
What can I say to really impress or manipulate?
How can I use each contact to get what I want or need?
How can I crush the competition?
How can I dominate the marketplace?
…your approach, style – and your energy — might be getting in your way or making you appear insincere, desperate or both. Compare the above to the language and attitude and state of mind expressed by these questions:
What can I give and offer to others?
How can I help others to be successful?
How can I start and continue friendly conversations?
How can I put others at ease?
How can I best express my sincerity and generosity?
How can I listen attentively so as to recognize the the needs and desires of others?
How can I provide true value to others?
How can I fully express myself so I can make genuine connections with others?
In short. think “CONNECTING” rather than “NETWORKING!” When we seek to authentically connect, we are usually in a good, honest and giving place and this is often reflected back to us.
Some ways to “Connect”:
· Invest in long term relationship building.
· Use Linked-in and social media STRATEGICALLY – there is nothing that compares with face-to-face meetings! (not only to find out about who you are meeting but also about who they know)
· Stay in touch (this often takes many “touches”)
· Don’t even think about what the other can do for you, think about how you can help others. It comes back to you.
· Always do what you say you are going to do – if you promise to get that person a contact, do it right away!
Some Essential “Do’s” and “Don’ts of “Connecting”:
DO:
Offer something when first meeting someone (book suggestion)
· Start conversation by asking questions
· Identify two or three things you’d like to learn from the people at the function
DON’T:
· Try to be cool
· Don’t let what do you do be first question
· Don’t complain about networking events
DEVELOP A SUPERSTAR SUPPORT SYSTEM
Another way to stand out in a crowded field is to surround yourself with a “Superstar Support System” (or “network,” if you prefer) – a group of friends and colleagues who will give you honest and instructive feedback about you, while helping you find your best – and most authentic – self. Ask three friends the following questions about you:
· What are three things that make you memorable?
· What are your special talents and skills?
· What have you been good at since you were a kid?
· What do people always compliment you on?
· What do you love — or never grow tired of talking about –re: your personal life?
· What do you want to say that you would never grow tired of talking about when you are asked about your work?
When creating a “Superstar Support System,” ask yourself “What are my core values?” and “How can they enhance my Superstar Network?” Also, if you could add one hundred people from your life to the lives of those with whom you are networking, who would you add? What would their core values be and why would you be assets to one another? Some other key questions:
· What can I do to improve the financial health of my support system/network?
· What is the biggest gift/contribution I can bring or make to my network (knowledge, energy)?
· What kind of positive effect can I have by giving to my network?
· What kind of thinking can I contribute to others in my network (strategic, creative, analytical, big picture)?
· What life experiences can I contribute which could create/foster learning in others?
· What skills, strengths, talents, and knowledge, can I add to my network?
· How can I enhance the professional image of the people in my network?
· What books, magazines, and other reference material can I give to others in my network?
So get out there and start connecting. Meet some people, get away from the computer, shift out of your comfort zone. You never know what can happen!
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