Here at Acts of Balance, we’re about to embark on a three-post dive into confidence. Why people are confident, where confidence comes from and how to practice being and having confidence.
But first we must take a brief look at why some people lack confidence. In my practice, one of the things that I am seeing more than ever lately is the lack of confidence among highly competent and talented professionals. For some, it is the feeling that they are like the house of cards, ready to fall over the moment someone recognizes that they don’t really have any talent (lies, all lies). For many, it is significant fear of not only being found out that they don’t have the talent required, but that they have been faking it all along.
There can of course be tons of reasons: lack of success, lack of knowledge, and even, not enough challenge. Think about it, if you’re in a job or a career where you are not sufficiently challenged, whether because of your knowledge base or maybe it because your creative juices are atrophied – if you aren’t challenged – it is tough to build confidence.
One very simple cause of lapses in confidence can be traced back to fear. Just like honor, pride and sadness, fear is a naturally occurring human emotion. Fear is a safety mechanism we use to keep and stay safe. If you are scared of a situation or a challenge or even a simple job task, confidence and success suffers.
Fear can often show up in very subtle ways … oftentimes business leaders don’t actually recognize fear, but sometimes the urge to avoid making decisions is a result of fear. In the end, it is the fear inhibits their leadership. That is just one example. It can be seen in business meetings when someone won’t share their far-fetched idea for fear of being laughed at, or sales people who are good talkers but can’t seem to make the ‘ask’ at the end.
Fear is the inner critic, the doubting self-talk, and the filter that makes us perceive things as worse than they are. It sounds simple but the first step to moving past fear is awareness.
Start with awareness, then investigation and understanding, then begin a development plan that address both the thoughts and beliefs that lead to fear and addressing the behaviors that are simply within your comfort zone. As we move through our discussion on confidence, think about your life. Where do you lack confidence? And why? Once you begin to identify where, the why’s become easy and the solution can be even easier.
*some content was adapted from D. Luke Iorio, President and CEO of iPEC Coaching
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