Acts of Balance

Difficult Talks for PR Pros (TM) is HERE!

admin — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 09:26:25 +0000

It’s here: Those Difficult Talks for PR Pros (TM): How Best to Say What Needs to be Said to Clients, Colleagues and Employees!

116-pages of techniques and tools to help you tackle the most difficult business discussions with more finesse and less stress
Easy-to-read and accessible, with anecdotes and case studies that illustrate a common problem and a tried-and-true solution
Includes a Difficult Talks self-assessment and step-by-step process for conquering your avoidance gremlin

Order Yours Today!

What Difficult Talk Are You Avoiding? And what is the cost to your business and your sanity?
It’s possible there are some who take delight in confrontation, but the fact is that most of us rank unpleasant workplace discussion a few rungs below shark attack on the universal ladder of enjoyment.

Unfortunately, difficult talks are a fact of business life. And here’s another fact: they don’t always go smoothly or even as planned. People are emotional beings and sometimes they just don’t want to hear it. The good news is that there are basic strategies that can help make confrontations, verbal skirmishes and angry exchanges far more manageable.

Public relations professionals, for whom this book is dedicated, are some of the most extroverted people in the world. Ironically, they are also some of the most non-confrontational people on earth.

Before PR pros can be the masters of difficult talks at home or professional life, they need to develop the habit of having them. No one is born with this ability, it must be learned along life’s journey. This fun-to-read book is packed with sound principles and proven tools to help guide PR pros with those difficult talks they need to have with clients, colleagues and employees. You’ll learn the power of framing and how omitting extraneous details can make bad news easier to swallow.

And it will demonstrate how confronting difficulty head-on – thoughtfully and sympathetically but without ego or emotion – can earn you the respect and admiration not only of the other person in the room, but of everyone else in the office.

This book is for executives, managers and human resources professionals in public relations — or, any industry where dealing with difficult conversations is part of the job. From firing an employee, pointing out offensive behavior, or confronting a difficult client, this book has the answers.

Tip Sheet: Face the Challenge of Difficult Talks

PRSA Michigan

admin — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 22:33:18 +0000

Difficult Talks for PR Pros (sm): Finding Your Mojo in Delicate Discussions (Workshop)

Event Information

PRSA Counselors Academy

admin — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 22:32:37 +0000

Employee Engagement Mistakes (Roundtable)

Event Information

PRSA Salt Lake City

admin — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 22:31:20 +0000

Keynote, Leadership Lessons I Learned From Harry Potter, and Coaching Skills for Leaders

Event Information

Tip Sheet: Face the Challenge of Difficult Talks

admin — Wed, 29 Feb 2012 13:30:06 +0000

We all like to be liked, and PR executives are no exception. Not that there’s anything wrong with that-unless and until the desire dominates their decision-making process.

That pitfall is dramatically apparent in the fact so many PR heads avoid the difficult talks they know they must have if they’re to preserve and enhance their organization’s effectiveness (while, at the same time, modeling this avoidance behavior for their employees).

They may be fearless in talking to reporters, editors, community groups, analysts, activists and others about the merits of the company, client or cause they represent. But, faced with the need to have a tough talk with a client, manager or employee, many avoid the experience, regardless of the cost. Some communicators even deceive themselves into thinking the avoidance is really a virtue they rationalize is diplomacy or tact.

Why? Respected consultant David C. Baker suggests the impulse to avoid tough talks may arise because the public relations field tends to attract “non-confrontational, conflict-averse” individuals. “They’re often well-connected, well-liked people-pleasers who were disinclined to rock the boat in the past,” he said, and so they lack the ability to engage in tough conversations.

In preparation for my just-published book, Those Difficult Talks for PR Pros (sm): How Best to Say What Needs to be Said to Clients, Colleagues and Employees, I surveyed more than 100 PR practitioners about their most difficult types of conversation. The toughest (according to 28.7% of respondents) was addressing personality issues like rubbing people the wrong way; next was breaking the news that someone’s job is being eliminated (23.8%).

Also high among gladly avoided conversations: telling employees they’re not developing skills to advance, and informing clients they can’t get what they want.

One reason cited for not wanting to address these issues was discomfort in dealing with emotional responses the conversation might provoke, and, sometimes, wariness about offending clients who have the power over hiring and firing. In the case of giving feedback to one’s own manager, there is fear of being passed over for promotions and raises.

So how to overcome the reluctance to engage in necessary difficult talks? Here are some ideas, gleaned from top PR pros, industry surveys and my own experience:

PREPARE, PREPARE, PREPARE

The Boy Scouts have it right: Be prepared. Before the talk, know exactly what you want to accomplish and how you plan to get there.

Just as some athletes respond best to a pat on the back and others to a kick in the pants, individual staff members and bosses will react differently, so tailor your approach accordingly.

THE STAGE SHOULD BE SET BEFORE THE TALK

Ideally, you’ve developed a company culture in which one-on-one talks are not a threatening novelty and an atmosphere in which staff members have always felt comfortable engaging in frank discussions with colleagues and superiors.

IT’S A CONVERSATION, NOT A LECTURE

No matter how serious the point that needs to be made, remember the most successful tough talks are not lectures but give-and-take conversations. So listen-and learn.

Encourage the other person to speak freely. Maybe jump-start the conversation with a question about the staff member’s own evaluation of what’s going right and what could be improved in his or her job performance.

A question about the staffer’s life outside the office might trigger a response that sheds light on the employee’s recent inertia or negative attitude.

Where the employee has identified a failing, don’t respond with a personality attack but address the behavior with a helpful statement along the lines of: “How can we work together to correct or improve it?”

It’s vital not to let a situation that needs addressing fester. Allow it to go unchecked for too long, and what might have been a relatively easy issue to quell may escalate into a raging problem.

SAME PRINCIPLES APPLY WITH CLIENTS

With a client, a tough talk’s worst-case scenario is losing the account. But for a constructive win-win outcome, the same principles apply with clients as with employees: a comfortable atmosphere for candid conversation; your readiness to listen and emphasize the positive; all while making the point that must be made.

This article appeared in last week’s PR News.

What is PR Coaching?

admin — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 14:46:55 +0000

This article appeared this week on the HMA Public Relations blog.

Ever had to have “the talk?”

No, I do not mean the talk that awkwardly occurs between parents and pre-teen children!

I mean the talk with clients, co-workers and even bosses where criticism must be given.

Just thinking about conflict-focused conversations like that gives me, with the mental and emotional makeup of many public relations people (extroverted yet un-confrontational), the hives – but, according to author Alan Cohen , these talks are necessary for any successful business person.

Alan’s latest book, Tough Talks for PR Pros: How to Best Say what Needs to be Said to Clients, Colleagues and Employees, not only touches on this topic, but gives practical advice for PR folks like me. As part of the celebration surrounding the new book, Alan will be a presenter at the PRSA Western District Conference in Denver in March, and coaching me, among others, on how to frame tough talks in a constructive light.

More details here.

So, on this “What is…” Wednesday – we must ask:

Alan, what is PR Coaching?
I think I have the best job in the world, coaching and training PR executives.

Why is that?

First of all, I think PR people are some of the most interesting, dynamic, creative folks out there, so having the opportunity on a daily basis to be inspired by them makes my job pretty great.

Second, before I became a certified professional coach, I was a PR practitioner for over 20 years, both on the agency and client side, which allowed me the opportunity to work on dozens of high profile campaigns – from Harry Potter to the Broadway stagehand’s strike – or in other words, from pure fantasy to harsh reality. I have walked in the shoes of most of the people I coach – from agency principal to account executive.

I’ve enjoyed some great success, but I also know what it’s like to feel burned out; to have to fight for my place at the table, to have to work for bosses half my – to deal with shrinking budgets and unreasonable clients, to be challenged ethically, and to feel as though my job is running me rather than the other way around.

As a coach, I help PR executives stay at the top of their game and navigate the ever- changing landscape of their industries. The 24/7 news cycle and hard economic times have left PR pros often feeling without choice, burned out, and creatively unexpressed. They need objective support.

I coach them on how to become more effective as leaders within their organizations, and help address those difficult situations that may be placing a drain on inspiration, creativity, productivity and resourcefulness. One of the most common things I see is PR folks having difficulty addressing conflict and giving and receiving feedback. Largely an extroverted group, PR folks just don’t like ticking people off. Much of my work is helping them have the tough talks with greater ease.

When I was climbing the ranks in PR, I didn’t have much coaching, and with the exception of the occasional mentor, I pretty much learned by the seat of my pants.

Coaching is not mentoring, consulting, advising or friendship. It is a unique modality that empowers the individual to find their own way, with less stress and greater results.

Coaching is coming out of the closet these days and I expect that in a few years it will be more “who is your coach,” rather than “what is coaching.”

For more tips on how to engage in powerful conversation, check out toughtalksbook.com.

Pull, Don’t Push the Difficult Talk

admin — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 12:41:44 +0000

You really need to do more of this or that? You have to start doing this or that? Ever wonder why, when you are on the receiving end of these words, you tend to shut down. Particularly in a tough talk, when people use a lot of push-like language to make their point — you have to, you should, you must, why don’t you — they are often surprised at the negative reactions of their listeners. Push Talk people are interested in asserting their “rightness” and gaining compliance.

When you are in a difficult discussion – or really any discussion – consider using pull language, rather than push. Use words that communicate that the other individual has choice, words that pull people into conversation and engage, words that create buy in like choose, desire, want, sometimes, seldom, desire perhaps, intend and aim. Avoid words like should, might, need to, have to, can’t, always and but.

You may be surprised at how the entire tone of a conversation changes when you become more mindful of the words you use.

Goal of a Difficult Talk

admin — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 12:51:49 +0000

With all of this talk about Difficult Talks, what is the goal of one? Under what circumstances would you need to have one? Sometimes it is easy to see and understand why you should have one. Other times, it is not as cut-and-dried.

The ultimate goal of a Difficult Talk is a conversation.

“oral exchange of sentiments, observations, opinions, or ideas”

That’s the definition of a conversation. But a conversation is not as simple as that. It takes practice. It takes patience. It takes thinking through your goals and must-haves from the conversation.

The goal of a Difficult Talk must be clear communication that ends with commitments and a win-win solution.

And what happens when you actually execute a Difficult Talk in the proper way?

Ideally, both parties, not just you, will feel more empowered.

Both parties discover that they can make a difference.
Both parties will respect that you have the courage to address a tough-talk situation.

By having a Difficult Talk, you will make your world better.

Why You Should Have a Difficult Talk

admin — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 12:43:30 +0000

As I wrote two weeks ago, your values will guide your difficult talk. Understanding what you value and what is important in your life, will guide you in deciding whether to have a difficult talk and how to approach it.

A Difficult Talk is not an angry talk. It is meant to be productive. It is meant to make things better.

If we take a look at values, let’s start at honesty. How do you know if that value is being challenged?

You and your boss have been working hard together in cohesion and are beginning to see the fruits of your labor. But then something happens. All of a sudden your boss begins to keep information from you. And you hear it through the grapevine that you apparently dropped the ball on something (which you didn’t). But nevertheless, you are beginning to get cut out of the loop. You mention it to your boss and he says he is too busy and forgot to give you the new information. So, now not only is your boss not being honest, but is lying, either by commission or omission depending which side you believe. A Difficult Talk is now needed.

What can come of having a tough talk?

Understanding EQ Creates Win-Win

admin — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 12:46:37 +0000

Let’s jump right into the topic for this week: Emotional Intelligence, or EQ. We all know what IQ is, but IQ does not help you have a difficult Talk. EQ can and does. EQ is defined as: “Emotional intelligence is the innate potential to feel, use, communicate, recognize, remember, describe, identify, learn from, manage, understand and explain emotions.”

When it comes to business and managing clients and/or employees, it is all about having empathy towards others, building healthy, rewarding relationships based on responsible decisions.

So, not only are you nervous about having a Difficult Talk, but now you have to worry about all the emotions involved. That’s why having an understanding of EQ is helpful when planning and executing a Difficult Talk.

I like to think that adult relationships and kid relationships are very similar. Think back to kids with sports cards or pogs or whatever they trade on the playground or collect through their birthday parties. Kids are great at negotiating trades, win-win situations for each other. Kids just want to be happy. I believe at our core ““ as adults ““ we too want to be happy.

The late renowned child psychologist, Haim Ginott, used to advise that if your child accidentally were to spill a glass of milk, you should not attack his personality, exclaiming “You’re a klutz, you always were a klutz, you always will be a klutz, — but, instead empathize wit him over the fact an unfortunate mishap had taken place, and “let’s clean it up together.”

That’s the key to Difficult Talks: working together.